Usually at the end of a year I do a round-up of what I have been working on and my aims and hopes for the year ahead. I did this last year but have decided I won't be doing it this year.
There are a few reasons for this, the main one being I don't want to set targets anymore. Whatever will be will be - and all that.
With that in mind I can give you a few updates on what I have been up to:
New Website
I launched my new website last week; it's had a bit of a redesign and should now work on all browsers across different operating systems and on phones etc. I hope you like it. If you find anything that is not working please do let me know.
New Music
I have got a whole host of new tunes that I am working on and will be doing 'something' with them next year, but not sure what just yet. There is going to be a single, of that I can be sure.
Interviewing Frank
A few months back I interviewed Frank Turner for the Calm Zone (who I had previously written a blog for on mental illness) and that is now live.
It is in issue 12 of their ClamZine and is well worth a read. I imagine it is the only time I will ever interview someone.
Right ... I'm off to have some mulled wine - catch you later.
Dec 2, 2013
Nov 14, 2013
I'm still here ...
Hope you are well and enjoying the winter chill. Summer ended all too quickly and launched us into what seems (for me anyway) some kind of eternal darkness.
I wanted to do a quick blog post to let you know I am still here and still doing 'stuff'.
At the moment things may seem quiet on the ATP front, but I assure you - they are not.
I have a whole host of demos which I am tinkering away with and will form some kind of release in 2014. Alongside that I have also been making a new website. A responsive one!
It's taking a while to get it looking right, but I hope to launch it soon. It will (hopefully) work across multiple devices - be it a desktop, tablet or phone.
I am also working on a new live set for 2014. I want to make everything I do the best it can be, so I am happy to take a bit longer working on things in the knowledge when you get to hear, see, enjoy them - they will be the best they can be.
I wanted to do a quick blog post to let you know I am still here and still doing 'stuff'.
At the moment things may seem quiet on the ATP front, but I assure you - they are not.
I have a whole host of demos which I am tinkering away with and will form some kind of release in 2014. Alongside that I have also been making a new website. A responsive one!
It's taking a while to get it looking right, but I hope to launch it soon. It will (hopefully) work across multiple devices - be it a desktop, tablet or phone.
I am also working on a new live set for 2014. I want to make everything I do the best it can be, so I am happy to take a bit longer working on things in the knowledge when you get to hear, see, enjoy them - they will be the best they can be.
Sep 9, 2013
News: ATP.VS.XMR.EP / brand new song - released today
Over the last 4-5 years I have recorded a number of tracks which feature guest vocalists, people such as Frank Turner, Chris T-T and Beans on Toast have all lent their voices on my songs; all 3 of those guys are on Xtra Mile Recordings.
This year XMR turned 10 years old and they are doing a whole host of things to celebrate - they have already taken over a stage at 2000 Trees and have lots of great stuff coming up like their 7" singles collection and more gigs, stages, releases etc.
As I have recorded with some of their artists I thought it would be cool to collate these into a free download EP.
However, I felt a bit cheap re-releasing 3 old songs so I asked another XMR act if he would be interested in working on a brand new song.
So a few months back I asked Ben Marwood if he'd work on a track I had been playing around with and he agreed. Before he headed off to the USA to tour with Frank he worked on the vocals for the new track.
Today I can reveal that 'Then The Bell Rings' will be the lead track from ATP.VS.XMR.EP.
I recorded a little video for the song and managed to get Ben to do a few shots over Skype.
I'm really pleased with the song and video and hope you like it.
This track and the other 3 can all be downloaded from my BandCamp page.
Let me know what you think and please share the news.
This year XMR turned 10 years old and they are doing a whole host of things to celebrate - they have already taken over a stage at 2000 Trees and have lots of great stuff coming up like their 7" singles collection and more gigs, stages, releases etc.
As I have recorded with some of their artists I thought it would be cool to collate these into a free download EP.
However, I felt a bit cheap re-releasing 3 old songs so I asked another XMR act if he would be interested in working on a brand new song.
So a few months back I asked Ben Marwood if he'd work on a track I had been playing around with and he agreed. Before he headed off to the USA to tour with Frank he worked on the vocals for the new track.
Today I can reveal that 'Then The Bell Rings' will be the lead track from ATP.VS.XMR.EP.
I recorded a little video for the song and managed to get Ben to do a few shots over Skype.
I'm really pleased with the song and video and hope you like it.
This track and the other 3 can all be downloaded from my BandCamp page.
Let me know what you think and please share the news.
Aug 28, 2013
12 days to go ...
On Monday 9th September I will be releasing a new track that nobody (well 1 person) has ever heard before and I am really looking forward to it being out and hearing what people think.
More news to follow ....
More news to follow ....
Aug 8, 2013
10 years ago - A blog about mental illness
This is probably the most personal and open blog post I will ever write as ATP...
I have pasted the link and the whole article below".
"In a way today is just another day. But in a different way it is also a fairly big day for
me.
Ten years ago today I almost killed myself and over the
last few weeks I have allowed myself time to reflect back on the events around that time.
It prompted me to write a short piece on mental illness which has been
published on The Calm Zone website.
I partially wrote it for me, but more for others who are
suffering from mental illness as a way to say - you can get better.
Part of me feels weird saying this but, I'd like people
to share this so that we can help others who are going through the pain and suffering I went though. If the words I have written help just one person feel comforted and that they are not alone, then I feel I have helped.
I have pasted the link and the whole article below".
Link - atpmusic.eu/calmzoneblog
In August 2003 I suffered from a mental illness. A combination of
psychosis, anxiety and depression left me I wanting to kill myself, as I
thought it was the only way I could make it stop. I had lost my mind
and was unable to distinguish between the real world and misguided
thoughts and voices in my head. There was a gradual build up to the day
in August where I decided that the only way to stop it all was to
commit suicide.
The illness began at the start of 2003 but it was not until April /May that even I realised I was ill. Over the first few months of that year I started to notice some of my thoughts and beliefs were shifting from reality – it all started subtlety, but by June I had a false narrative and voices in my head.
When I say voices, it was not random personalities. It was more like my subconscious talking to me and commenting against every thought I had. It was not something I was able to talk to anyone about and kept to myself, hoping that it would go away and I would feel sane again. That did not happen – in fact it was the complete opposite.
The thoughts and voices got louder and I had a constant stream of noise in my head. This carried on for a few months and it all got darker – I was beginning to hallucinate, became depressed and held a constant belief that I was going to die.
My thoughts had created a twisted weave of despair in which the psychosis fed off the anxiety. I was constantly questioning every single thought and having daily panic attacks. All the time this was my secret – no one else knew that was happening.
As the summer moved on I became fixated with death and the fact I was going to die. It is impossible to put into words the kind of beliefs I had. Everything was fantasy, I felt like I was in a film and writing my own script on a daily basis. Looking back I can’t believe I held it all together as long as I did. I managed to sustain a working week and on the whole function around friends and family.
It was at the end of July things got really bad. I was listening to the radio and heard a story about someone who had psychosis, could not live with it anymore and jumped in front of a train to stop it. I tried to fight it for weeks, but it got to the stage where I wanted to do the same; I researched ways to kill myself and thought about the effects it would have on my family and friends. Even after that – it seemed like the only option I had.
I am not going to go into the details but my plan was not able to go ahead due to my brother changing his plans for the day and being at home when I returned from work. That night I broke down and told my brother what was going on in my head. I still have no idea how he dealt with it all so well.
This was the first time I had told anyone about the thoughts and voices in my head, and the dark world I was trapped in. Suddenly everything intensified. The voices got stronger – the belief I was going to die grew and I struggled more than ever.
I told my brother on a Friday night and on the Saturday I met my parents to tell them. They did not really understand what was going on – none of us knew how to deal with it from here. I felt weird – I was starting to tell people my dark secret – the thing that I carried for the last 6 months. In many ways this started to make things worse.
On the Sunday I went home and was unable to sleep – I had a panic attack and could not shift the belief that I would die during my sleep that night. My brother took me up to the hospital and after hours of waiting I was eventually seen by a doctor, given a Valium and sent home.
The next morning I went back and spoke to a doctor in the mental health department who said something to me that actually helped – ‘we see 100s of people like you every year’. I suddenly realised I was not unique, i was not alone in my experiences – but before I knew it, I lost reality again and slipped back into my dark thoughts and the belief I would die before the end of 2003.
The months that followed were horrible. I continued to have panic attacks and my mind played tricks on me – there was still the gap between my world and reality, but at least people knew what was happening.
I tried to be as open and honest to people as I could be, but the whole time I was questioning everything and although I knew I had a mental illness – I believed I was cursed and I had to find a way to free myself. I guess in some ways I did eventually free myself, but it took a long time.
I described my mind and thoughts like a ball of wool that was full of knots, the knots were misguided and over a period of 8 months I had to unlearn things and rebuild my sanity. It was hard – I was in hell and there were so many times that I just wanted to give in.
A network of friends and family helped me get through. I realised there was progress when I had a day without any dark thoughts, but then the next day it all came back. After a while the moments of clarity lasted longer –relapses happened and I was knocked down again. After a long, long time the bad times faded away and became less frequent.
In all honesty – I think it took be a good couple of years to fully rebuild myself and be able to look back on it all as an illness that I was cured from. Over that year I questioned everything – I tried to find every possible way out of the pain and confusion I was going through – but in the end it was time, counselling and support that helped me.
When I first started telling people about what was happening to me, all I wanted was for someone to say to me – ‘I have been through the same thing and it will get better’.
That never happened and one of the reasons I am writing this, is in part, to document what I see as a massive milestone for me, but more a way of helping others who are suffering from mental illness.
There is no shame in saying you are ill, sometimes it can seem like a dark secret, but it is nothing to be ashamed about. Getting better takes time and you will have a roller coaster of ups and down but when the dust settles you will be a stronger person for going through it all.
The illness began at the start of 2003 but it was not until April /May that even I realised I was ill. Over the first few months of that year I started to notice some of my thoughts and beliefs were shifting from reality – it all started subtlety, but by June I had a false narrative and voices in my head.
When I say voices, it was not random personalities. It was more like my subconscious talking to me and commenting against every thought I had. It was not something I was able to talk to anyone about and kept to myself, hoping that it would go away and I would feel sane again. That did not happen – in fact it was the complete opposite.
The thoughts and voices got louder and I had a constant stream of noise in my head. This carried on for a few months and it all got darker – I was beginning to hallucinate, became depressed and held a constant belief that I was going to die.
My thoughts had created a twisted weave of despair in which the psychosis fed off the anxiety. I was constantly questioning every single thought and having daily panic attacks. All the time this was my secret – no one else knew that was happening.
As the summer moved on I became fixated with death and the fact I was going to die. It is impossible to put into words the kind of beliefs I had. Everything was fantasy, I felt like I was in a film and writing my own script on a daily basis. Looking back I can’t believe I held it all together as long as I did. I managed to sustain a working week and on the whole function around friends and family.
It was at the end of July things got really bad. I was listening to the radio and heard a story about someone who had psychosis, could not live with it anymore and jumped in front of a train to stop it. I tried to fight it for weeks, but it got to the stage where I wanted to do the same; I researched ways to kill myself and thought about the effects it would have on my family and friends. Even after that – it seemed like the only option I had.
I am not going to go into the details but my plan was not able to go ahead due to my brother changing his plans for the day and being at home when I returned from work. That night I broke down and told my brother what was going on in my head. I still have no idea how he dealt with it all so well.
This was the first time I had told anyone about the thoughts and voices in my head, and the dark world I was trapped in. Suddenly everything intensified. The voices got stronger – the belief I was going to die grew and I struggled more than ever.
I told my brother on a Friday night and on the Saturday I met my parents to tell them. They did not really understand what was going on – none of us knew how to deal with it from here. I felt weird – I was starting to tell people my dark secret – the thing that I carried for the last 6 months. In many ways this started to make things worse.
On the Sunday I went home and was unable to sleep – I had a panic attack and could not shift the belief that I would die during my sleep that night. My brother took me up to the hospital and after hours of waiting I was eventually seen by a doctor, given a Valium and sent home.
The next morning I went back and spoke to a doctor in the mental health department who said something to me that actually helped – ‘we see 100s of people like you every year’. I suddenly realised I was not unique, i was not alone in my experiences – but before I knew it, I lost reality again and slipped back into my dark thoughts and the belief I would die before the end of 2003.
The months that followed were horrible. I continued to have panic attacks and my mind played tricks on me – there was still the gap between my world and reality, but at least people knew what was happening.
I tried to be as open and honest to people as I could be, but the whole time I was questioning everything and although I knew I had a mental illness – I believed I was cursed and I had to find a way to free myself. I guess in some ways I did eventually free myself, but it took a long time.
I described my mind and thoughts like a ball of wool that was full of knots, the knots were misguided and over a period of 8 months I had to unlearn things and rebuild my sanity. It was hard – I was in hell and there were so many times that I just wanted to give in.
A network of friends and family helped me get through. I realised there was progress when I had a day without any dark thoughts, but then the next day it all came back. After a while the moments of clarity lasted longer –relapses happened and I was knocked down again. After a long, long time the bad times faded away and became less frequent.
In all honesty – I think it took be a good couple of years to fully rebuild myself and be able to look back on it all as an illness that I was cured from. Over that year I questioned everything – I tried to find every possible way out of the pain and confusion I was going through – but in the end it was time, counselling and support that helped me.
When I first started telling people about what was happening to me, all I wanted was for someone to say to me – ‘I have been through the same thing and it will get better’.
That never happened and one of the reasons I am writing this, is in part, to document what I see as a massive milestone for me, but more a way of helping others who are suffering from mental illness.
There is no shame in saying you are ill, sometimes it can seem like a dark secret, but it is nothing to be ashamed about. Getting better takes time and you will have a roller coaster of ups and down but when the dust settles you will be a stronger person for going through it all.
Jul 15, 2013
Boing (in) out today
If you missed my various plugs over the last month 'Boing' is released today, backed with a new summery track called 'Version One' which I really love - you can check both songs out on Bandcamp.
I spent last weekend at 2000 Trees festival watching some great acts and catching up with a few friends. It really is an excellent little place and one I hope to play at one day.
Got a few interesting things in the pipeline - none of which I can go into detail about at the moment, but there is an exciting collaboration planned and a few remixes on the horizon.
My next show will be on Sat 3rd August at Frolic Festival in Kent. I'm on the second stage around 5pm so come along and check it out. It will be very special indeed.
More ramblings soon .......
I spent last weekend at 2000 Trees festival watching some great acts and catching up with a few friends. It really is an excellent little place and one I hope to play at one day.
Got a few interesting things in the pipeline - none of which I can go into detail about at the moment, but there is an exciting collaboration planned and a few remixes on the horizon.
My next show will be on Sat 3rd August at Frolic Festival in Kent. I'm on the second stage around 5pm so come along and check it out. It will be very special indeed.
More ramblings soon .......
Jun 24, 2013
BOING - The new ATP Single (video and pre-order links)
Hello Ladies and Gents.
I'm pleased to share my new single and video with you. The single is called 'Boing' and will be out in a couple of weeks.
I made a video for it a few weeks back on Brighton Pier and you can watch that above.
The single is backed with a new song called 'Version One' which is a real summer treat.
I hope you enjoy the new songs and please do pre-order, share, dance and enjoy it all.
Buy Boing & Version One here
ps - There is lots more going on in the ATP camp - some very exciting stuff coming up - but today is all about Boing ....
Jun 14, 2013
New Demo > N844AA
It's still 1 month to go until the new ATP single 'Boing' is released. But fear not, I have been working on more new music and there is lots going on behind the scenes at the moment.
This week I set myself a challenge of making a new song during my lunch hours. So on Monday - Thursday this week I sent about 45 minutes each day sat in the Jubilee Library in Brighton working on a new tune.
The result is a track called 'N844AA' - it is still largely in demo form - but I was pleased with how it turned out and wanted to share it with you. Long term I will do more work on it and it may evolve - but for now here it is : Also - for those interested in the name of the track - it relates to a 727 jet which was stolen in May 2003 and never found - more info can be found here.
This week I set myself a challenge of making a new song during my lunch hours. So on Monday - Thursday this week I sent about 45 minutes each day sat in the Jubilee Library in Brighton working on a new tune.
The result is a track called 'N844AA' - it is still largely in demo form - but I was pleased with how it turned out and wanted to share it with you. Long term I will do more work on it and it may evolve - but for now here it is : Also - for those interested in the name of the track - it relates to a 727 jet which was stolen in May 2003 and never found - more info can be found here.
May 29, 2013
Promotime
I have been busy the last few weeks working on the next ATP Single and getting it ready for release.
So far I have made a video for the single, made a load of promo CDs and also started to label up all the jiffy bags to send to DJs and magazines.
The track is called 'Boing' and will be released on 15th July 2013 ...
Lots more detail to follow
Apr 17, 2013
Where do you find the time?
Time is a very precious thing, there is not enough of it and you could always do with more to get all the things done that you want to do.
A friend of mine once asked me 'Where do you find the time to do ATP?'
My answer was - 'I make time'.
I am not fortunate enough to be a full time musician, I work and have a family. My time is limited.
I try to make the most of little moments during the day to make melodies, practice playing live, do networking/research and try to generally progress what I do.
I spend 40 minutes a day on the train and have a small break for lunch during the day. I use both of these times to work on new songs.
Then very late in the evening I spend about an hour most nights doing ATP stuff. All of this comes at a sacrifice and thankfully I have a very understanding and supportive wife.
Yes, I'd like to have music and ATP as my full time career - but I know that will never be achievable, instead I do this because I enjoy it and more than that because I need to.
Music is a very large part of who I am, the process of making music, releasing records and doing live shows is what keeps me sane and grounded.
(The subject of sanity is something I will be writing about more in the summer).
I honestly can't ever picture a future where I don't make music in some form or another. If you are a fellow musician reading this you will know what I mean.
It's something inside of us, it drives us and allows us to find those little moments that don't really exist.
A friend of mine once asked me 'Where do you find the time to do ATP?'
My answer was - 'I make time'.
I am not fortunate enough to be a full time musician, I work and have a family. My time is limited.
I try to make the most of little moments during the day to make melodies, practice playing live, do networking/research and try to generally progress what I do.
I spend 40 minutes a day on the train and have a small break for lunch during the day. I use both of these times to work on new songs.
Then very late in the evening I spend about an hour most nights doing ATP stuff. All of this comes at a sacrifice and thankfully I have a very understanding and supportive wife.
Yes, I'd like to have music and ATP as my full time career - but I know that will never be achievable, instead I do this because I enjoy it and more than that because I need to.
Music is a very large part of who I am, the process of making music, releasing records and doing live shows is what keeps me sane and grounded.
(The subject of sanity is something I will be writing about more in the summer).
I honestly can't ever picture a future where I don't make music in some form or another. If you are a fellow musician reading this you will know what I mean.
It's something inside of us, it drives us and allows us to find those little moments that don't really exist.
Apr 5, 2013
I'm allowed to change my mind...
When I first started doing Amongst The Pigeons I always had a vision of it being a trilogy of albums and then bringing it all to an end. I actually thought that the music I make would not give itself to more than that and people would get bored.
In 2009 I released 'Music to brush your teeth to' and then 'Get Amongst It' followed in 2012, with various EPs in between.
I had for a long time always expected to release a third and final album called 'Spread Your Wings' most likely in 2014/5.
But - this morning I had a revelation, a change of heart and realised that there is still a LOT I want to achieve as ATP and I can keep this going for quite sometime yet. So today I decided that there is at least another 3 albums worth of material yet to come.
The final album I make will still be called 'Spread Your Wings' and in my head I know exactly how I want that to sound from start to finish. The thing is, I know that I am not capable of making that album yet, which is another reason I want to make more music before the final album comes out.
I think the next proper ATP album will be rather different - can't quite say how yet - but I want it to be mad .... more way out there than anything I have done to date.
Someone actually described one of the new songs as 'mad space jazz, hectic and fun' which I really liked.
This post is probably of no interest to anyone other than me - but sometimes I just like to share.
Speaking of which ... here is a video of me playing live at last weekends Lexapalooza show, an exclusive of two new songs.
In 2009 I released 'Music to brush your teeth to' and then 'Get Amongst It' followed in 2012, with various EPs in between.
I had for a long time always expected to release a third and final album called 'Spread Your Wings' most likely in 2014/5.
But - this morning I had a revelation, a change of heart and realised that there is still a LOT I want to achieve as ATP and I can keep this going for quite sometime yet. So today I decided that there is at least another 3 albums worth of material yet to come.
The final album I make will still be called 'Spread Your Wings' and in my head I know exactly how I want that to sound from start to finish. The thing is, I know that I am not capable of making that album yet, which is another reason I want to make more music before the final album comes out.
I think the next proper ATP album will be rather different - can't quite say how yet - but I want it to be mad .... more way out there than anything I have done to date.
Someone actually described one of the new songs as 'mad space jazz, hectic and fun' which I really liked.
This post is probably of no interest to anyone other than me - but sometimes I just like to share.
Speaking of which ... here is a video of me playing live at last weekends Lexapalooza show, an exclusive of two new songs.
Mar 14, 2013
Lexapalooza 2013
Things may appear to have been quiet on the ATP front but I can assure you they are not.
I have been tinkering with the ATP:LIVE set and working on a whole host of new material.
So far I have seven new tracks which will either be released as singles, or form part of ATPLP3 or an EP or who knows :)
The main reason for this blog post is to bring your attention to my next gig. This will be on Easter Sunday, 31st March at The Boston Arms in London.
This is not just any gig - it is Lexapalooza.
Lexapalooza is a charity event, I won't go into the history of it here - but I personally have been to nearly all of the previous events and played before under my old guise of This Lonely Soul.
The line up for this years event is amazing - so many great acts and I will be playing my new set for the first time.
I am not allowed to say what time I am on - the idea is you go for the whole day and enjoy all the acts. I really hope you are able to make it as it never fails to be a great day.
Full event details are here on Facebook.
I have been tinkering with the ATP:LIVE set and working on a whole host of new material.
So far I have seven new tracks which will either be released as singles, or form part of ATPLP3 or an EP or who knows :)
The main reason for this blog post is to bring your attention to my next gig. This will be on Easter Sunday, 31st March at The Boston Arms in London.
This is not just any gig - it is Lexapalooza.
Lexapalooza is a charity event, I won't go into the history of it here - but I personally have been to nearly all of the previous events and played before under my old guise of This Lonely Soul.
The line up for this years event is amazing - so many great acts and I will be playing my new set for the first time.
I am not allowed to say what time I am on - the idea is you go for the whole day and enjoy all the acts. I really hope you are able to make it as it never fails to be a great day.
Full event details are here on Facebook.
Jan 9, 2013
Ornithophobia EP
This is the new Ornithophobia EP - it will be released on 11th Feb 2013 but in the interim you can listen to it on Soundcloud.
The EP is a gap release between the 'Get Amongst It' album which was released last year and later on this year there will be a few new ATP singles. The 4 tracks on here were recorded at the end of last year. Enjoy ....
To pre-order the digital EP - Click Here
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